It still rings true today though...as a search for a routine has begun again since school has ended. Falling into summer used to be easy. Begin the summer job and keep the same routine going. But, when summer is cancelled, you are left pulling at any string looking for a sense of normalcy...as we have been since March.
So much has happened at the Brinker House & in the world since I last posted in January that I feel several separate posts will have to make up for my lack of blogging...unless you just want to read a novel, which is not a horrible idea!
So, buckle in, keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the ride!
Chapter 1--Wait, what? Work from home?
When I last wrote, I was spending my days in Memphis with the BFF before her Baby Boy came. Just 2 teachers soaking up their Christmas Vacation, no thoughts of the work that awaited them upon their return. There was talk on the news of a virus spreading rapidly through China, and I was gearing up for a busy Spring Semester at work. Funny how the world changes in what feels like over-night. School began with us in full gear with lots of learning left to do, projects to partake in & a Field Trip to go on! January flew by and February creeped in like a sly fox. February seemed to never end. Maybe it was the leap day. Maybe it was the lack of a day off. Maybe it was just February being rude. But let's be real for a minute, it was the fact that Spring Break was looming every so close. Like that carrot dangled in front of the rabbit, and that is all anyone could focus on. I thought of it as motivation to get through the long days, my kiddos, they were just longing for another break and to hang out with their friends. Spring Fever was setting in. But, by golly, not only was February sly as a fox, but like a hurricane stewing and beginning to make landfall, Covid-19 was slowly encroaching on the US. February finally ended, and March showed up to the party...drunk. We made it through the first week, and had a blast counting down to Spring Break! But that Covid-19 Hurricane was getting ready to make landfall.
On Friday, March 6, I laughed with my students in my classroom, prayed with them, in my classroom, taught them, in my classroom, played with my students, on the playground, and I wished them a wonderful break and promised to see them in a week. My calendar still feels stuck on March 6...the last day of normalcy. Then the eye made landfall. First, the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo was cancelled. Then, we were told we were going to have one more week of Spring Break. Then...boom...out of school till May 4, and the city is shut down unless you are an essential worker. It was like a massive punch to the gut. My first thought was my kiddos...do they understand what is happening? Are they okay? Then, how will we do this...
Off to school it was. We learned how to use the Google Classroom platform; packed up what we believed the kids would need from home, and made copies of anything they might need. It was a total whirlwind, and left my head spinning and my heart reeling with emotions.
Let's pause for a minute, hop off, and have real talk for a hot second. The following is sentiment shared by a teacher on Facebook, and hits the nail right on the head.
A teacher somewhere is packing up their classroom right now, mourning the class they never got to see to the end. The class they won’t get to see graduate. The class they won’t get to enjoy the beautiful spring weather with. The class who will no longer be able to sit and feel the suspense of a mystery read aloud. The class who won’t be able to sign yearbooks and make summer plans with friends. The class they never got to say goodbye to. The students they won’t get to hug anymore. The students they weren’t able to explain what was happening. The students they can no longer check in on every day due to technology deficits or little parental support. The students that shy away from face-to-face videoconferencing because they don’t understand why their world has been turned upside down and routines thrown out the window. The students whose only positive interactions and care were inside these four walls. 
This hasn’t been easy. Lives have been immeasurably disrupted. Teachers have had to switch gears and create a classroom online and implement lessons in ways they’ve never had to before. Oftentimes spending more hours than they would in a normal workday. Heightened sadness, staggering stress, disenfranchised grief.
Stepping into these classrooms is overwhelming. It’s as if it was frozen in time. Weeks and months gone unchanged. Calendars still set on March, preparing for Spring Break. Projects left unfinished on the counters, crayons and glue sticks half-used, novels bookmarked halfway through, forgotten lunchboxes and coffee mugs; a time capsule.
As difficult as this is for you, know that teachers are grieving. They chose this profession because they love education and they love children. They’re dealing with a lot of adjustment and stress themselves. Packing up a classroom before the year is complete, feels alien. It is sad, it is frustrating, and it is hard.
Tonight, pray for a teacher.
There is no question that this time of quarantine was not just trying because I was stuck at home, but it was also a time of grieving what could have been...
Okay, hop back on! Buckle back up & hang on! Off we go...
I feel very blessed that all of my students had access to technology and the ability to meet with me every morning for live lessons. But, an hour filled with mini lessons does not fill that void. I was available all day for my students to call and ask questions. My afternoons were filled with checking assignments and providing feedback to the students, communicating with my parents, and getting online assignments ready for the next day. Hours began melting together, and work became an all day affair. Taking who you have planned and ready for in classroom and on the flip of a dime turning things into online assignments was no joke. It took up a lot of time. I am one who enjoys the distinction of home life vs work life, and during this time, the 2 were becoming one. That was one of the toughest parts. When your dinning room becomes your classroom, your world is rocked.
While this time was tough, it came to a bittersweet end seeing my kiddos on the Last Day of School; seeing my kids in person for the first time in 9 weeks. My teacher heart was happy and breaking at the same time. The year was ending, but felt so incomplete. It's one of the things that I love about teaching, a clear and cut beginning and ending to a year. This year, I'm still stuck on March 6...
My new "classroom" for the last quarter of school.
Chapter 2 Cancer Sucks.
During the second week of "Spring Break", our sweet Micky boy went in for extensive tests to try and piece together all of these weird symptoms that did not go together at all! He had been having trouble with a paw since October, which we thought was good after a minor surgery. XRays showed that infection had affected his bone, but no evidence of anything else...anywhere in his body. It never could get quite right...antibiotics would help for a time, pain meds would help for a time, steroids would help for a time...then he began to have other issues. I noticed that he was slowly losing weight, even though he had a hearty appetite and ate 2 meals a day. Then the sweet boy began having accidents while he was fully asleep. Then accidents when he was just lounging around, walking around, etc.. Urine test did not reveal any infection, so the next step was a massive brainstorm. I made a huge long list of things that I could not even pronounce half of the names. Dr. McIntyre made herself a list after reviewing all of the information that she had gathered through his visits. We merged lists, had a few that matched up, so she laid out what we would need to do as far as testing for each one. Well, cancer was on both of our lists, as much as we hated it. I decided to start there, convinced that he did not have cancer, my boy was just too young; I had not had enough time with him. To rule this out, he would need an ultrasound of his bladder/abdomen. I dropped off my boy, with his diaper bag, yes you read that right, he was wearing pee-bands/diapers, and prayed for the best. Y'all. They brought my boy back to me, and the sweet vet walked in the room, and she did not even have to say anything. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and tears swelled in my eyes as she began to explain what was found on the ultrasound revealed that while his bladder was fine, my boy was terribly ill. It abdomen was riddled with cancer and he had fluid building up in his peritoneum. Fluid build up indicates that the cancer is very advanced.
I was told that I had maybe a few weeks at best left with my boy. My boy who came in and healed my heart when I believed that it was broken. My boy who never left my side. My boy who soaked up all of my tears. My boy who curled up in between Jared & I each night for cuddles. My boy who made all "right" in my world again. I could not believe that I was losing another baby. Another blow to the gut. When you cannot have children of your own, and while you wait patiently to be picked, your furry children are your children.
My boy was diagnosed on Wednesday and over the next 4 days, I watched him slide down the unstoppable slope. I knew that he was only going to get worse, and that it was not fair for him to suffer only because I was not ready to let him go. On Monday, we took in our boy and helped him to the Rainbow Bridge. The next day, virtual learning began.
Micky boy is resting easy now and doing all the running and jumping he wants. Losing a fur baby will never, never, never, never get easier or not suck, but when you have a vet who loves your furbabies as much as you do, it helps to ease some of the pain.
Micky on his way to what would be his last HCR event.
Hey Micky, Hey Micky, Hey Micky you're so fine....
Chapter 3 How you doin'?
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke
Your love life's D.O.A
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
Let's take a look and see where we are...the middle of the Hurricane Covid-19...remote learning is in progress & our house is a little empty with the loss of the Mick. Well, what could help ease the pain and make being stuck at home a little bit sweeter....nothing other than puppies. Fuzzy, furry, little collie puppies. We were so blessed that these babies this year were are healthy! They just were not quite old enough to be on their own yet. We had these guys for about 3.5 weeks, then off to their furever homes they went! But not before we instilled a love for George Strait in them. Play Classical music to soothe them they said....bahahahaha. King George did the trick!
So meet Joey...who did not share food; Phoebe who loved to "sing", and Chandler who was easy going.
Puppies are good for the heart & soul!
Who doesn't love a pile of puppies! Melt your heart into a puddle!
We love to play outside and answering to "Puppy, puppy, puppy"!
As you will see, this became their preferred method of sleeping. Tummy up & out....means they feel safe and secure where they are!
Shelby is a good little Mama to the puppies. Chandler in particular was her shadow.
Mom, look! It can hold me up while I sleep!
If this face doesn't put a smile on yours, then, well....
Phoebe was promoted to Assistant Cleaner!
If you have been around for awhile, you will remember that we had puppies last summer too. We had a very sick puppy, Oreo, now Willy and Henry. These 2 boys got adopted together and went to just the best home ever! Oreo is on the left, Henry on the right. They are so big and so sweet....and they still remember us! We have gone to visit the boys & were greeted with so many kisses and cuddles.
The boys on their First Birthday!
Chapter 4 Well, he's a big boy.
Micky left a big hole in our family. While Bella seemed to be getting along well without her big brother, she was driving Shelby up a wall with all of the playing and horsing around that she does. Funny though, Shelby girl just joined right in.
About the time we lost Micky, HCR got in a beautiful sibling pair, Lacey & Dexter. Since they were siblings, I brushed off thinking about Dexter because I assumed he would be too bonded with his sister to separate. Dexter & Lacey were turned over to HCR after their owner passed away from cancer.
Well,well, well after a couple weeks, it was determined that they were not an overly bonded pair and would do well apart as long as they had a playmate. So....I went and found a picture of him and sent it to Jared. He replied with, "Well, he's a big boy." Yes, yes he is! Dexter weighs in at just under 90 lbs. I have been told that this is how big a typical collie used to be, but they have been bread to be on the smaller side.
He agreed that we could go meet him. Dexter put on a show....he is like a cat! He loves to wind between your legs, rub up against you, and lean on you. This sweet boy stole his way into our hearts. We loaded him up & headed home.
Funny how you do not notice things until they begin to change. As Dexter settled in, so did the girls. They were no longer pacing about and worried about the front window. Bella began napping in her chair again. All things that I had noticed, but had not correlated to not having a male dog in the house. The girls need a protector, and Dexter quickly and quietly settled in as the King of his Kingdom.
Happy Gotcha Day, Dexter!
Dexter & Lacey as puppies. Their previous family shared some pics of them with us from their childhood.
Queen Sadie Mae & King Dexter
Keeping watch over his kingdom.
A Tri-Color, a Blue Merle & a Sable Collie walked into a bar....
Chapter 5 Waiting
Chapter 5 Waiting
We are still patiently waiting to get "the call." It will come in his time. We are coming up on the one year mark of officially being on the list. We will be getting our Home Study renewed soon, and we will continue with the waiting and prayers. While waiting is certainly not fun, we know that it is part of the process.
We are keeping busy with work, fostering and projects around the house. We'll be ready when that call comes!
Thank you for coming along on the ride. We hope you enjoyed it and will come back again! Until then, I'll be busy with several sewing projects and helping another foster with her puppies. Oh, and trying to keep track of what day it is!
