Lent has always been an awkward Liturgical Season for me. You give up something, and do really well...for a bit then inevitably something happens and chocolate and wine find their way back into your life. I am sure that there is someone out there who agrees with me?
Lent is a season of sacrifice, and deep prayer. I have always dove deep into the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, finding Lent to be a time to enter into a deeper relationship with Mary. This is probably one of my favorite parts of Lent...joining my suffering to His, and taking comfort that in the end death has no grip on me.
As with adoption, each season seems to take on a new meaning. Adoption is all about waiting; faithful waiting and basking in the fact that all things happen in God's timing and not in ours. We are still waiting...patiently, most days, waiting.
This year, just seems to be a whole new 'level' of Lent. I was chatting with a friend, and we were discussing what each of us had decided that we were going to give up this year for Lent. I giggled, then asked, in my best serious voice, "Does giving up my house count?"
Now, why in the world would someone give up their house? Well, you see, it was not voluntarily done. When the apocalypse happened, and Texas literally froze, we had several pipes burst. Which, ordinarily would not have been a huge issue, but we were not home when it happened, so our little house filled right on up with water. When our kind neighbor told us that the power was back on the neighborhood, Jared went to check on his grandma (who fell & broke her hip Sunday) and then went to check on the house before we brought all of the dogs back. When he walked into the house, through the front door, he was greeted to several inches of water on the floor, and the ceiling in our entry way was on the floor. It's a good thing that he knows how to turn off the water because he ran back out and turned off our main water line. Then back in to assess the damage, which is when he called me. To quote, I said hello, what's up? Jared, "The damn ceiling is on the damn floor." Then he promptly said that the had to go. Well, his dad was iced in Byran, so I called his brother. Jacob answers, assuming Liz & I need something. I said no, apparently the ceiling is on the floor at my house, can you go and check on Jared. He left work & rushed over.
Since then, it has been a whirlwind of being on the phone...all the time. Calling and filing with insurance, and then calling every remediation company that has a good rating on Google, and getting on their list. I called the same day it happened, and could not be given a date for service. That was the same song & tune for all 15 companies I called. Some were kind, and we got on their lists; others, frustrated just like homeowners & showing it in their customer service.
By the grace of God, we were able to secure a remediation company to come out, but the damage had already been done. A little science fun for you. If you live in Texas, the weather is never to far away from 80 degrees, and if you have holes in your ceiling, your A/C cannot keep the house cool. So, what happens? Mold. Mold is what happens. As they tore down walls...they kept finding mold growing. I knew that it had taken over my new sewing room, as it was visible, the rest of it was hidden behind walls, floors and cabinets. What started as just a wet mess, was quickly becoming a wet & moldy mess. Thank goodness the remediation company knew what they were doing, and took the appropriate steps to save things.
As I sit back and think on the answer I gave to my sweet friend though, I gave up more than my house this Lent. I gave up being comfortable. So often God calls us to do things that are out of our comfort zone, and out of our norm, but we often shy away from those things because we do not like being uncomfortable.
I am comfortable in my own home, my own routine, and setting. I hate, despise, and loathe change. I am a home-body, and find comfort in my routines. If 'giving up my house' for Lent is teaching me anything, it is about being okay with change and learning how to lean in to being uncomfortable, which by the way, is anything but comfortable.
I had to learn really quick how to get along without my bed.
I had to learn to let Shelby go cuddle elsewhere in the evening. Apparently when you stay with your friends, you sleep with your friends.
I have had to learn to plan my wardrobe for the week since my closet lives at my mom's. I joke that I wish I had Jared's option of a handy Ace polo & jeans daily. At least Friday's are easy, Spirit Day!
I have had to plan for my weekend days & what I would like to do, as I am often at my mom's doing laundry.
I have had to learn that it is okay if someone else cooks dinner for my husband and I.
I have had to learn how to shop differently...feeding 4 adults instead of 2 & no sewing room with school/work snack storage.
I have learned that sometimes routines have to change...as much as you do not want them to. Creating new routines and new habits is tiring and stressful...on a daily basis.
I have to remember to not go home after work.
I have learned how to ask for help. Gulp. Probably the hardest thing to learn out of all of this. Jared and I are the typically the last people that will ask for help. The tables are usually turned, and we are always helping others. We have asked more of our friends, and our families lately than we probably ever really have had to do.
There is so much more that I have had to learn. This just seems to be the tip of the iceberg that has become the Great Flood post the Great Freeze. We are wading into the waters of dealing with insurance. So far the water is cold, very, very cold.
If being uncomfortable is what God has called me to be this Lent, then I would say it is going swimmingly well. We were not made to be comfortable in today's world. If you are comfortable in how you are living, are you challenging yourself to do new things, to grow, to learn? Comfort is wonderful, but the uncomfortable is where we truly grow. The iron put in the fire sure isn't comfortable, but it becomes something new and wonderful after. It seems to be that all of the growing, molding, and learning seems to happen when we are outside of our comfort zone.
I know that after this storm, that we will come out on the other side better and stronger. There might not be a more fitting season to be in this storm than during Lent. Uniting my suffering with the suffering of the cross. This is where I have been planted this season, and learning to grow in my uncomfort is where I am. If you ask how things are going, you may get a variety of answers depending on where I am sitting in that very moment. I will do my best to give you an answer with grace, but sometimes, life just gets the best of you and emotions just overcome you.
So, I will be enjoying a glass of wine, and some chocolate, because for Lent, I gave up my house.
**On a side note, our sweet Collie rescue community has set up a GoFundMe to help us with costs that have come up & that will come up. We have had to say no to fostering for the foreseeable future, which breaks my heart.
https://gofund.me/fbef83cf
