We are vulnerable. We have put ourselves, our dreams, our hopes, and our aspirations out there for the world, for a family, for a mom.
We are brave. We have entered into a world that it totally unknown. If there is a guide or manual somewhere for how we should be walking down this path, I wish someone would give it to us.
We are love. Every decision that we make as we travel this journey is one that is made out of love. Our joys, our anger, and our frustrations all come out of love.
“To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.” Brene Brown
To travel this journey with us, one must understand that each move we make is carefully calculated before we even think about moving that pawn.
Each moves creates a more vulnerable us. A more vulnerable us comes with more pain, but also affords more opportunities to experience other things as well.
We are constantly experiencing both grace and gratitude.
The most common question that both us receive from those that we know is, "How is the adoption going?" While we know that everyone who asks us only means well when they ask, it is the one question that I have become to dread. It is almost like the, "When are you going to start a family?", that we received for years too.
Well, adoption is all about waiting. You turn in all of your paperwork, family books, flyers, get certifications needed, complete your home-study; then, you wait. Wait for a mom to feel a connection to your little family and pick you. I joked with Jared the other day that I feel like Meredith Grey yelling at McDreamy...Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me.
Each time we are asked though, it affords us such an opportunity to be showered in His grace and to share that grace with others. So, here is our answer to that oh so dreaded question....
We have physically done all that we can do. Our file with the agency is in order, and there are not any gaps. As we are asked for new things, we do our best to get those done & turned in. We continue with our adoption education, and get that updated in our file for the state as well. We are honestly just waiting. Waiting for HIS timing, and not ours. We know that all good things will happen in HIS time and not ours. This is something that is no longer in our hands, but fully and totally in HIS. Spiritually, we are never done. We pray every day for our Birth-Mother and her family; that this may be the right decision for her, and that she is at peace with the choice that she makes. We continue to pray the St. Joseph Novena every month, and do our best to squeeze in a couple rosaries each week. We are waiting, trusting, and praying.
There is so much grace in sharing that our story is not in our hands, but in HIS. Helping others to realize that this story is no longer about us, but about HIM, and what HE has planned for us.
And gratitude. Yes, gratitude. Even though I dread this question, it means that someone is thinking about you and your journey; that you are not alone in the path that you are walking down. While I may ache on the inside while I answer the question, I know that we are incredibly blessed that we have people in our lives who care enough to ask.
We are continuing to learn so much about the vulnerability that comes with this journey. We lean in, and learn more. There is no handbook for how to walk this path and travel this journey. So bear with us when it takes a little longer to answer your questions, when we may not agree with an opinion, or we find it a little harder to attend a function. We are doing our best to walk down this path with grace.
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